Cognition & Reality

Tuesday, 21 December 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — drtone @ 8:03 am

After tons-o soul searching, I finally had my prostate biopsy on Monday. I was far less worried and nervous in the daze leading up to it than I ever expected. It’s true that I had to take some xanax the night before in order to fall asleep, and that I took some xanax while I was on my way to Kaiser Fontana. Nevertheless, I don’t credit the xanax with the main feelings I had, which did not meet my expectation that I would be all panicky.

The procedure was much less traumatic than my first prostate biopsy, about five years ago. There was no smell of burning flesh, the pain was less, and it was over more quickly, although the urologist took twice as many biopsy samples (12) as the first guy did. Here’s what I didn’t expect: Immediately after the procedure, I had to drive to my office in Temecula to see a couple who had rescheduled earlier in the day. When I got to my office, I went to take a piss. For the first two seconds or so, nothing came out except red, red blood. There were also blood clots. Let’s say that it was disconcerting. Also, the area in question hurt considerably following the procedure and for hours afterward. It’s the next day, and I feel OK, although there are twinges and I feel wiped out, perhaps as much from a long drive in the rain as from having been “probed.”

One weird thing is that I knew well in advance something that the urologist would say. This weekend while meditating I twice had the impression that he would tell me that he could see my prostate through his rectal periscope and that it looked like it was clean, or words to that effect. That’s exactly what happened. I didn’t ask him. He told me that he couldn’t see anything of concern.

I’m not quite sure why it was so un-traumatic. Maybe it was simply the time I had to consider what I wanted to do. Maybe it was all the meditation. I do know that a watershed moment came when I read Robert Masters’s account of his prostate cancer experience. He had a biopsy and therefore knows he has cancer; he’s undergoing alternative treatment. When I read that, I realized that I simply did not know where I stood, and suddenly wanted a biopsy. In addition, I trusted the urologist, once I met him, and knew he’d do a good job.


Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: