Cognition & Reality

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Some Daze

Filed under: Emotion,Television — drtone @ 3:12 pm
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Some days are better than others, or so it seems. On the one hand, every moment is like every other, and the notion that one follows the other in linear progression is conjectural if not illusory. Out of the jumble, however, sometimes emerges a chunk of time that challenges one’s heart. Today is like that for me. I got up early to see a couple of clients, each with a different situation, both quite sad. Then I came home to feel an awful dreariness that the only thing I have to do is watch football or something else on TV. There’s nothing I really want to read or see. I used to call this boredom, I think, but it’s more active than boredom. I’m restless and dissatisfied.

Once in a while, my own health contends for my attention. I’m still addressing my high PSA score, plagued by questions. Is it worth attending to at all? Does the new holistic doctor I went to see a couple of days ago really know anything? Is freaking out the right thing to do? Do I worry too much about explaining my choices to my loved ones? Should I pay any attention at all to the robots at Kaiser?Occasionally, I can feel the panic churning my guts and rising into my head.

No wonder I want to indulge my newest guilty pleasure, “Damages,” the engrossing, but cheesy, series that stars Glenn Close as a hard-bitten master litigator in New York. (I’m considering whether there’s a “grammar” that distinguishes detective shows from lawyer shows, because the latter would be pretty boring if they did not involve violence and criminal investigation.) Thank god for my Blu-ay player! Maybe the world isn’t so bad…

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